Aging Wisely by Viola B. Mecke Ph.D. ABPP

Author:Viola B. Mecke Ph.D. ABPP [Viola B. Mecke, Ph.D., ABPP]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781669844983
Publisher: Xlibris US
Published: 2022-09-12T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 8

Capture Those Fears

What are fears but voices airy?

Whispering harm where harm is not.

—Wordsworth

To deny the power of fear as “voices airy” is to deny the prisoner of a terror that fear brings. We know more fear than we did when we were younger because there are now more reasons for fear. We do not walk as rhythmically; it is more difficult to step onto or off a curb; our changing perception makes parking a car a more difficult task, and so on. We learn to be cautious whenever these situations arise.

Marvin, aged seventy-eight, lived alone. The thought of an intruder frightened him, giving him a dry mouth and anger. No one could ever come into his house unbidden. He placed three separate locks on each door to deter possible break-ins, although he lived in a very safe neighborhood.

Emma, aged seventy-nine, refuses invitations for dinner with friends; she no longer wants to drive at night. Before, social situations had been the high spots of her life; now her heart beats fast at the idea of leaving home alone.

Jack, aged seventy-five, could not attend his grandson’s graduation, fearful of traveling, although during his professional life he traveled widely.

Faith, aged seventy-eight, was scheduled for a breast biopsy in the next week. She was overwhelmed with fears, trembling at the thought of surgery.

Maria, aged eighty-four, was fearful of staying alone for an hour while her husband attended a meeting nearby. They lived in an apartment in a senior residential center—in essence, the safest of environments. She was fearful that she might get ill and die when alone.

These persons were coping with their fears. Marvin is a good example of primary control; to alleviate his fear, he himself placed three additional locks on his doors. He was able to cope; he changed his environment to fit his needs.

Emma had cataracts and could not drive at night After her vision was restored, she remained fearful of night driving. She was successfully coping with the fear by using a secondary control mechanism—avoiding the situation. In essence, she gave up much of her social life unless a friend would escort her.

Jack had a panic attack on an airplane and did not want to fly again. His experience had been traumatic, and although attending his grandson’s graduation was important to him—and his grandson—he chose a secondary coping behavior for himself—by not placing himself in the frightful situation. While avoidance alleviated his fears, it also robbed him of great pleasure. He was penned up at home, not attempting to travel necessary distances to visit family members.

Faith, aged seventy-eight, was scheduled for a breast biopsy. She was very anxious and apprehensive about the procedure, seeking consolation from friends. She relieved her anxiety by praying each night until the appointed day. She also used a secondary coping skill; she dealt with her anxiety through prayer, which provided her inner calm, believing that whatever the outcome, it would be “the Lord’s will.” It was an effective means for her to achieve some inner calm about the oncoming surgery.

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